is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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