wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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