I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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