Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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