Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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