: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
