roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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