I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
