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I haven't been this sober since birth.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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