My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
