it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize