but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
that's an acceptable place to lick
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
