$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
