she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
