Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
