i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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