That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
