I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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