There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
