did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
