ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize