You really coming over, don't trick.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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