if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
