Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
