i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The beer is more important than you right now.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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