please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
