just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
