you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
