my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
