Moan for me like Helen Keller
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
