There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
