Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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