Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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