My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
