Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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