I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
