bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
