I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
