i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
