Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
