'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
