walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
