I bet he comes in French.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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