where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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