How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
