he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
