He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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