I want to make a zoo with you.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
So vagazzling was a success
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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