I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
