Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
