i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
