after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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