I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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