First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
