the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
