is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
