CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
