just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
