just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
